Checkmate
by 2originalcents
Summary: Cartman's night babysitting Ike goes awry. One-sided.


**How did this story come to be? Oh well, enjoy my dears! **

**And I own nothing.**

"Checkmate." Ike beamed.

"Fuck you, Ike." Cartman grunted at his third loss of the evening.

Eric was wasting another perfectly fine Saturday night baby-sitting the black-haired Canadian. Liane had enough of her son's laziness and 'gimme' attitude. She thought he needed to learn the worth of a dollar, so she told him no more allowance and he needed to find a job. So, as cliché as it was for a sixteen year old to do, he babysat.

He didn't actually know how people trusted him with their children, but he was thankful for the money coming in. For the most part, though, he usually babysat Kyle's baby brother, Ike. Even though he was ten and old enough, for Cartman's standards, to take care of himself, a job was a job and Ike was more bearable to be around than any of the other kids in South Park.

"I fucking hate this game, let's play something else." Eric pushed the chess set out of the way. The two were playing at the dinner table and it was getting annoying to be bested by a kid, even though Ike was a self-proclaimed genius.

"What else do you want to play?" Ike grabbed his chess set and began to put it away before Eric could damage it.

"I don't know. Why don't we just watch some tv for once?" Eric looked longingly at the television set.

"Or, why don't you read _Alice in Wonderland _to me?"

"Seriously?" Ike looked at him like it was the most normal request he could make. "Fine."

The two settled down on the couch as Cartman began to read. He had a way to make reading out loud interesting, something he learned to do after countless bedtime stories told to annoying kids. He gave each character a different voice and Ike was completely enthralled and elated, it had been so long since Kyle ever read anything aloud to him.

Eric paused after his impeccable impersonation of the Mad Hatter, Ike brought the two some milk and cookies and set it on the coffee table as he took his spot next to Cartman on the couch.

"Why does my brother hate you so much? You seem perfectly nice to me."

"It's because he's a fucking Jersey ginger-Jew." Cartman shrugged as he gulped down his milk. His throat had gone dry from all the reading.

"Well I really like you Eric." Ike whispered.

"Thanks. I like you too." Cartman smiled as he put his glass down and picked up the book again.

"Really?"

"Sure. You're way better than Kayl. Then again you're adopted so-" Cartman was cut off by Ike's lips on his.

The little boy's soft lips surprised Eric, and his body reacted with kissing him back. Suddenly, Cartman realized what he was doing and pushed the boy off of him.

"No! Ike! Bad!" Cartman's eyes were wide as he pushed himself to the other side of the couch.

"But-but you said you liked me." Ike tried to reach out to Eric, but the older boy stood up and looked around, nervous.

"I did, but not like that! Ike, you know I'm with Butters!"

"But…I…Is-is this because of Kyle? You hate him so you don't want to be with me?" Tears were welling up in his big, black eyes.

"No! Jesus Christ, Ike. This has nothing to do with that! You're ten! I'm sixteen!"

"So what? I was with my teacher when I was in preschool, remember?"

"Yea, I do. I was there! Ike, you're cool, but no. This is just not going to happen. And sorry, but there's no way I'm leaving Butters for a kid."

Ike ran up to his room, and Cartman could hear the door slam shut.

"Fuck…"

After a few hours, and Cartman distracting himself with the tv, Mr. and Mrs. Broflovski came home.

"Oh, thank you Eric for spending your Saturday night here again." Sheila told the brunette as she handed him a fifty-dollar bill.

"Yea. And thanks." He put the bill in his pocket.

"So, would you mind very much coming back in two weeks?" Gerald asked.

"Uhm, no. I think I'm going to quit babysitting. I'm thinking of working at Whistling Willies or someplace like that."

"That's too bad. Well thanks for everything." Sheila smiled at him as she walked him to the door.

"Yea, no problem." Cartman walked to his truck and turned to the house to see Ike's tear stained face looking down at him. Eric just shook his head and went home.

**Poor Ike!**

**And I'm sorry, but my love for Cutters refrains me from writing a happy ending for the adopted Canadian, even though I love him.**

**Comments/critiques/questions/etcs are LOVED!**


End file.
